


Bea's Not Dead

by TaraTyler



Series: Ballie [1]
Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-10 18:05:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11697021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaraTyler/pseuds/TaraTyler





	Bea's Not Dead

Bea barely felt the makeshift screwdriver shiv as it entered her abdomen. Some strange combination of pain and rage made her numb to everything except for the name that pulsed through her bloodstream with every beat of her heart: Allie...Allie...Allie...As Bea’s legs refused to keep her on her feet, she reckoned that maybe when she died, she would be given the chance to trade her own life for Alli’s. The world needed Allie’s light in it, way more than the world had ever needed Bea.

Bea got more and more tired as Joan started to panic. Even as the blood began to bubble up in her mouth, burning her throat. She stared up at the clouds watching the different patterns that they made. When they formed two seahorses that linked tails, Bea knew that she must be dying. She was so ready to go be with her beautiful girl.

Her eyelids began to get heavy. It began to get that much harder to get air into her lungs, and it didn’t seem that important. All that mattered anymore was that she was going to go be with Allie. As she felt the life leaving her body, she fixed an image of Allie in her mind. Bea Smith was about to die, she had next to no regrets and a daughter and a beautiful girl waiting on her.

\------//////------

The first thing Allie felt when she opened her eyes was the tube down her throat. SHe had a blaring migraine, and her heart beat so quickly that she felt it might burst. Allie didn’t know anything except for her own blind panic. She wanted Bea. She wanted to kick Ferguson’s ass for everything that she had put all of the women through.

“Calm down, okay? We’re going to get that out of you, but I’m going to need you to stop fighting me first.” the nurse says gently. Allie’s heart is filled completely with fear and trepidation. She wants Bea and she wants for someone to explain to her was has happened.

Allie coughed as the intubation tube was pulled loose from her throat. Her chest ached and her mouth was too dry to form words. Everything ached so much she could barely feel a hand wrapped her own, a decidedly non-Bea hand, but a hand nonetheless. Allie squeezed it back and moaned as best she could, hoping that someone would figure out she needed water.

“Hey sweet girl, hey. Welcome back to the land of the living.” said a woman that Allie had never met before. She had dark hair pulled back into a ponytail and tattoos running up her arms and her chest. “Queen Bea sent me here to keep an eye on you since they wouldn’t let her come and watch over you herself. My name is Franky Doyle. I was the Top Dog before Red took over from me.”

Franky poured Allie a glass of water and she gulped it down greedily. Her throat burned and her chest ached but her heart was warmed that even from Wentworth, Bea was watching over her. She might not have been Top Dog anymore, but Bea still had more power and influence than anyone else in that prison. Bea held all of the respect even with Kaz leading. Allie knew that she would be there to protect and back Bea for as long as the older woman wanted her around.

“The Freak...the freaking Freak did this to all of us…” Allie’s voice is hoarse and tired. “God, Bea is going to think that I did this to myself and I promised her...it was a hotshot. You have to explain to Bea that the Freak gave me a hotshot.” Allie pleaded and searched Franky’s eyes.

“She already knows. The Governor doesn’t believe it and most of GenPop doesn’t believe it, but I believe Bea and what you just said matches her story exactly.” Franky reassures her.

“Oh God, if she knows then… if she knows, she’ll go after the Freak, you know that she will.” Allie sits up quickly, ignoring the pain that permeates her whole body.

“Good. I hope that she kills the bitch.” Franky says in a low growl. “Don’t you underestimate Red, blondie. She’s stronger than any one of us have ever given her credit for. I would know that better than just about anyone. Even I was barely able to take her on. She did end up being my best rival and one of my best friends. It was the strangest love-hate relationship.” Franky scoffed and Allie quirked an eyebrow at the very strange dynamic, but most of what Franky said matched up with what Bea had told her.

“I know that she’s pretty strong, but can you just… can you get her for me to talk to, please?” Allie had tears in her eyes and Franky’s heart broke for the star-crossed couple.

“Franky? Franky, I need a word with you.” Ms.Westfall said from the doorway, she had tears in her eyes and her voice broke when she said Franky’s name. Bea had implied that something had been going on between the two of them before Franky had gotten out and Allie had arrived. The look that the two had shared confirmed everything that Allie had picked up from Bea.

“I’ll be right back, okay? You just try to get some rest, okay? ” Franky attempted a smile, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. Allie knew already, deep in her bones, that she could trust Franky Doyle, and not only because of all of the things Bea had told her.

“Franky, something has happened at Wentworth and we absolutely cannot tell Allie. It would completely derail her recovery.” Bridget says, gasping for breath in intervals. Just from her demeanor, Franky can tell what has happened. It felt like punch to the stomach or having been electrocuted.

“I just...I just talked to her. She asked me to go and keep an eye on Allie while she was here. Fucking Red, I should have known that she would do something stupid. It’s just like with Debbie, except it didn’t go half as well this time. I want… I mean, I need the details. Please, just, tell me what happened. I’ve got to know.” Franky said even though tears continued to run down her face.

Bridget really didn’t think that was a good idea. She knew Franky had had a very peculiar but strong bond with Bea Smith. They had been rivals, but they were also better friends than the psychiatrist had ever expected. Once Franky was out and Bea had settled into her position as Top Dog, Bea had confided in Franky and gone to her for advice. They had much in common while still being so very different.

Bridget told Franky everything that she knew; from someone letting Bea out, to the screwdriver shiv, and the eight stab wounds to the abdomen. She told Franky how unlikely it was Bea would make it. Bridget watched Franky slide down the wall looking completely despondent. She slid down beside her girlfriend and held her as she sobbed. Bridget had never seen Franky look so broken.

Allie heard Franky crying, knew what it meant. No matter the pain, she forced herself to sit, and swung her legs off the side of the bed. With a heavy thump, her feet hit floor and she leaned heavily on her IV stand, dragging herself into the hall to sit on Franky’s other side. She buried her face in the thin woman’s shoulder. Allie didn’t feel any pain except for the feeling of her heart being ripped out of her chest and shredded.

\-----/////-----

It took several weeks for Allie to be sent back to Wentworth and she saw Franky, Maxine, or Bridget off and on. Her recovery was hindered by the intense mourning fugue state she was in. Often she would go numb and just stare at the wall directly in front of her for hours. Her mental and emotional recovery began to take precedence over her physical health. Allie was withdrawn and short when interacting with people, to the point that anyone who knew her would know she definitely was not okay.

However, not very many people were all that worried about Allie’s state of physical or mental health. Allie wasn’t particularly worried about either of those things either. Bridget was the only one (besides Franky of course) who actually cared enough to notice. She had instituted every other day talk therapy sessions until she decided Allie was coping better. She wasn’t confident Allie would ever be back to the completely confident and bouncy person that she had been. 

Allie sat morosely in the brawler. Every time Mr.Jackson or Ms.Miles had tried to tell her anything regarding Bea, it had only taken the abject look of fury and pain on her face to shut them up. Allie had never been a particularly violent person before, but now she had no idea of who she was or could become. She stepped out of the brawler to a myriad of pitying looks. Only Ms.Bennett managed to maintain a semi-professional facial expression. She wanted to scream at them all to shut up, even though no one had actually said anything.

“I’ve already put you into H3 in Maxine Conway’s old room. I thought that you may actually prefer to be housed with Bea’s old crew as opposed to with Kaz, seeing as she’s the new Top Dog. If you would rather go back in Proctor’s cell block, I could switch everything back to the way it was.” Vera said in a flat but sympathetic tone. Allie briefly wondered if the Governor even suspected how much she actually needed her makeshift family. 

Everyone was there and ready to greet Allie as she stepped into the housing block where Bea used to live. Most of them had tears in their eyes and watery smiles. Allie didn’t actually care about how anyone else was feeling about her return. She just wanted to lay down and fall into unconsciousness and maybe dream of Bea. However, it didn’t seem likely that the other members of H Block would let that happen. Allie couldn’t help but to hate everyone she laid eyes on for living while Bea couldn’t. She knew it wasn’t their faults, but she couldn’t help the hate that felt like it was about to devour her heart.

Liz wrapped her arms around Allie even though Allie’s hands were still shoved in her hoodie pockets. They had no idea of the pain that was tormenting Allie, but they knew they would do everything in their power to help Bea’s girlfriend. Even Kaz came running after a moment. Ms.Miles rolled her eyes at the public displays of affection, but didn’t say anything. She hadn’t particularly liked Bea, but knew just as well that Allie was grieving and needed her family around her. Nobody could say that Linda Miles was _completely_ heartless.

Allie hated herself for being such a coward. There were so many different ways that she could have done this. She could have gone to be with Bea. None of the other prisoner’s words could reach her. The memorial wall was a constant reminder of what she had lost. She couldn’t see a way out or find a reason she should live. That is to say she tried to find one until Joan ‘The Freak’ Ferguson was released into the general population.

Suddenly, Allie had a new purpose. There was a goal and a direction for her rage. The pain was a reminder of what she had lost, and of the fact she had nothing left to lose. Allie had a new reason to live. She was going after The Freak. Bea had gone after the Freak for her. Returning the favor was the least Allie could do.

Everyone had assumed she was fragile and in need of protection. While she had been particularly emotionally fragile for the past few days, heartbroken even, Allie did not need to be protected by anyone. Bea had taught her to take care of herself. Allie was all of the protection that Allie needed. If Bea had done anything besides teach Allie how to love and be loved it was to be strong and independant. Allie intended to prove that Bea had changed her and changed her for the better.

Bea probably would not have approved of her methods, and definitely would have preferred that Allie not been in any danger at all, ever. Allie knew this, but Bea wasn’t around to stop her. Bea probably wouldn’t be around to stop her from doing something stupid ever again. Allie leaned against the wall in the yard quietly and waited. She knew it wouldn’t be long before Ferguson came out for her time outside. Allie had spent a long time watching Ferguson and figuring out her schedule, so when she finally came out and got far enough away from Stewart, Allie was ready.

Her only weapons were a billiard ball in a sock, and her own visceral rage. She was seeing red, and not giving a shit whether things worked out for her or not. With a visceral cry she swung and connected with the side of the Freak’s head. Allie only realized she had made a mistake when Ferguson stumbled and stood right back up again. She only barely managed to get her arms up in time to block a blow that would have surely broken her neck.

Luckily, experience had taught her what to do in this situation. Life as a prostitute and a junkie had led to more than one beating. Allie covered her head and neck with her arms; curling into the fetal position to protect all of her vital organs. If she was lucky, this way her arms, back, and legs would bear the brunt of the injury. When the onslaught ended, but the screaming continued, and Allie waited a full five minutes before she stood shakily to her feet. She knew that her pain was next to nothing compared to Bea’s, next to nothing compared to the hole that Bea had left in her heart.

With a war cry that might not have been the best idea, but felt very right at the time, Allie leapt onto the Freak’s back, even as she was fighting off three other prisoners. Allie locked her arms around Ferguson’s throat and began to squeeze. She didn’t care what happened, she just wanted to take the Freak down, Devil may care what happened to her in the process. Whatever might happen, someone was going to be with Bea. She had asked Allie to look after Debbie and Allie had failed; it was time to rectify that.

Then her back met the concrete and everything went black. Allie thought that maybe she was dying...again. She could be with Bea and she could watch over Debbie until Bea came to join them. Allie had finally been told Bea was in a medically induced coma and it was unlikely she would ever wake up. She didn’t understand why she had been the one granted the miracle when it was so clear that Bea was the one who deserved it. Bridget called it survivor’s guilt. She didn’t understand that Allie was fine with surviving; Allie just didn’t want to survive in a world without Bea.

“Oh hell no, I just got back and this… this is not happening.” a furious, cold, but familiar voice intones says. Allie knows that voice, she knows that that tone of voice means that someone is in deep shit. Allie also knows that that voice means that she is exactly where she needs to be now.

For the first time in what feels like years, Allie allowed herself to relax. She felt the warm sun on her face and went to sleep. Allie didn’t want to wake up unless Bea was there alive, well, and waiting on her. 

\-----/////-----

Allie woke up ridiculously sore once again. A hand was holding own, and it was a distinctly non-Franky hand. She clutched her favorite red blanket to her chest, thankful that someone had thought to bring it for her. Allie squeezed the hand that was holding hers like it was a lifeline. She knew that hand almost better than she knew her own.

“Welcome back to the real world, my beautiful girl.” Bea said softly as Allie finally opened her eyes. “For a moment there, I’d thought that I’d lost you again. We’re going to have to stop scaring one another like this or someone is going to wind up dead… permanently.”

“How...how are you here?” Allie asked in a hoarse and croaky voice. “I thought that you weren’t ever going to wake up. Is the Freak...Did I get her?”

“I woke up a couple of days ago...spent a day in recovery and was sent right back here. Little did I know that I would come into the yard only to find you being tossed around like a rag doll by Freak on my very first day back.” Bea chuckled dryly. “Luckily I wasn’t too sore to get in a few good licks of my own. Trust me, you won’t have to worry about Ferguson ever again. I had a few presents for her from the hospital myself.” Bea has a grim expression on her face that Allie recognizes.

“What did you do, Bea?” Allie asked, pushing herself up and into a sitting position.

“I doubt that you really right now. Nurse Ratchett gave me permission to walk you back to H3 whenever you’re ready.” Bea said softly, the hard expression on her face melting away into a soft and affectionate one.

“I will go anywhere that you go, Bea. I had thought that I would never see you again. It’s going to be a while before I let you out of my sight again. I love you, Bea and that scares the shit out of me because… I had thought that I had lost you for good. I went to a really dark place and I don’t think that either of us ever need that to happen again. It may be best that we stick together from now on.” Allie said softly, taking both of Bea’s hands in her own.

“I have to agree. I couldn’t help but to notice that you have gotten your fair share of trouble while I’ve been… out of commission.” Bea laughs, pulling Allie into a hug. She folds herself into Bea’s arms and settles there. “I’ve missed you too, my beautiful girl.


End file.
